If this article is too
late for the first newsletter following Borrego, it’s
Tim’s fault. Don’t ask me why, it just is. Likewise, anything that was done
contrary to good moral standards or acceptable social behavior is not my
fault either, but rather due to the actions of others. I’m not naming names,
but those responsible for questionable activities had initials starting with L
or D. You know who you are, so don’t even think that hiding behind that
beer mug did any good whatsoever. I was wearing my beer goggles and I
had quite the view. I considered myself but a pawn in the mischief of local
events, taking names and cleverly disguising myself as a biker so as not to
draw attention to myself.
I arrived at bedlam Borrego on Thursday morning, just in time
to unload
the trailer and start my undercover operation. I quickly downed anything
that was handed to me and fired up the trike (that’s a white ’69 something
VW powered sled) for the Treasure hunt. I was pressed into action by the
above mentioned D and L persons and did my level best to drive the
overburdened three wheeler around town in search of tiny little rainbow
colored flags at various and assorted watering holes. I believe that I was
asked for a date at one of the finer watering holes while wearing the rainbow
ribbons on my belt, but he wasn’t my type. I can tell you this much, I put
that bunch of ribbons elsewhere, out of sight for the rest of the ride.
One of the first stops on the hunt was the VFW or Chamber of
Commerce or something like that where chili was served with a nice
assortment of liquids. Our group was wired like a bunch of kids on
Halloween candy with no parental controls in place and I knew things
were going to get out of hand because my hand was in it. We saddled up
and carefully adjusted the weight distribution on the trike so I could drive
at least 10 miles per hour without wearing the tires off on the fenders. The
wheelie wheel was only one inch off the ground as it was. We made it
across the street to a really fine Borrego Resort where the second flag
was hidden. We collected our flag and asked where we might rest a spell
from the long drive across the street. This current location was apparently
owned and operated by the Swedish Government as Heidi and Helga
worked everywhere. Heidi directed us to the Saloon just down the hall
from registration. Personally, I was hoping for a soda fountain, but after all
I was on a mission. I’m not one to put a damper on any operation, or
jeopardize the fine men and women tasked with its completion. I followed
the D and L and others to the unoccupied and apparently closed Saloon.
Things and stuff happened and needless to say Helga arrived and asked
us to leave, but not before someone ratted me out to the location’s higher
up head honcho and almost caused me to lose my assumed persona. I
quietly took my lickins while one of the L’s skipped out the back and
attempted to make a clean get-a-way. The Lord was watching and
disabled the potential get-a-way vehicle by making the gas be gone. HA!
Cheaters never prosper and remember that if anyone ever asks the question
“is this illegal?” or “can we get arrested for this?” the answer is a resounding
YES.
We somehow made it to the next stop, away on the other side
of town,
opened another closed establishment, collected our ribbon, made new
friends (unlike the other place) and headed back toward Carly’s for the
next ribbon.
We made it back to headquarters without further issues, no
thanks to
the D and L. Night time came when it got dark so we headed out for
dinner at Carly’s where the D and L and my persona almost got in trouble
again. Janis was all over the Karaoke machine like oil leaking on pavement
from a Harley. Then Tim and other untalented patrons got up and did their
thing with Mr. Karaoke which actually wasn’t all that bad. I would have
got up there myself, but I really hate it when people throw things at me.
Back again to HQ with Mark using my trike’s lights to show him the way
on his otherwise really fine brown chief.
The next day came a few hours later. The Friday, Saturday and Sunday
rides included tours of Julian, Mt. Palomar, Frank’s living room (the desert),
and some wineries; all very pleasing to the eye. This year the weather was
good to us with very mild day and night temperatures.
Janis did her usual exceptional job on the banquet which was no small
task considering the 157 guests who were entertained by the roasting she
gave Speedo Max.
I haven’t tallied up the total bills yet, but I’m
guesstimating that we
spent around 10 thousand on this outing. As your treasurer, it’s always
been my job and pleasure to follow my personal credo: spend money on
wine, women and song, and whatever’s left over .. spend foolishly. Until next time or
whenever I get fired,
Tom Hart